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| Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash |
Anger is not a primary emotion. It is a response to something. We react in anger.
Anger is one of the 5 stages of emotional healing:
denial
anger
bargaining
depression
acceptance
The steps don't always follow the above pattern and you can move backwards and forwards through them while you process.
We are going to look at two types of anger:
Righteous anger is directed at evil, injustice and sin
Sinful anger stems from selfish desire and is destructive
Anger can motivate us, but it must not control us. Anger can help us to connect with inner strength. Anger can motivate you to set proper boundaries. Guard your heart when you are angry, because it can be a very destructive power.
From personal experience I know that if we can't process the anger we felt, it can lead to depression. Anger has to go somewhere, you can't hold onto it for long. I used to have anxiety attacks as a child. In order to cope, I learned to suppress difficult emotions, like anger. But that doesn't make it go away. If you bury anger in your heart, depression can sprout from it.
Anger is a reaction, this means that it can mask deeper emotions like sadness and shame. It can be a sign of hurt or injustice. Anger can be expressed in aggression and violence. This is dangerous because we can harm ourselves and others when in this state.
Anger is like a fire, it can start from a single spark or incident and become something so powerful that it will totally destroy your life if left to run rampant.
Cain & Abel
Genesis 4:6 “The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen?” ESV
Cain brings an offering to God and it is not accepted. Instead of searching his heart or asking God why, he looks at how his brothers’ offering to God is received and murderous rage is ignited in his heart. Even God approaching him, is not enough for him to stop and ask himself if he is doing the right thing here.
In verse 8 Cain kills Abel, allowing anger to consume him.
Be angry, but do not sin
Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” ESV
This is also great marital advice. But back to the matter at hand, there is a good and a bad kind of anger. Being consumed by anger leads to sin and death.
Be quick to listen, slow to anger
James 1:19-20 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God“ ESV
Don't fly off the handle, don't lose your cool. There is wisdom in not acting quickly. Sometimes we need to slow down and allow God to speak to us before we act.
Jesus and anger
Have you ever thought about the fact that Jesus got angry?
Mark 3:5 “And he looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, and said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was restored” ESV
Jesus is angry at the Pharisees, they expect Jesus not to heal someone on the Sabbath, because it is the Lord's Holy day. They were looking for evidence to use against Him. If He did this, they felt they would have proof that He was not operating as a messenger from God. Their hearts were hard, part of Jesus’ mission on earth was to show us the love of the Father (John 3:16).
In Matthew 21:12 we find Jesus in the temple, but today is not a normal day. He isn't busy praying or teaching, today He is over turning tables and chasing the vendors from their stalls inside the temple. This wasn't just a building, Jesus calls it, “my Father's house”, this was holy ground. A place where people came to meet with God and yet some had turned it into a place of commerce. This would have made Jesus very angry, yet He doesn't kill anyone. He is angry and restrained at the same time.
Proverbs on anger
The book of Proverbs has a lot of wisdom. Here are just a few points from it.
Proverbs 19:11 “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense“ ESV
Some people seem to walk around looking to start an argument with whoever they can. There is a better way.
Proverbs 29:11 “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back“ ESV
We need self control. It is unwise to allow anger to lead you.
Processing anger
Now we come to the most important part of the message. Let us spend a few minutes with this difficult emotion and ask God to show us the root of why we feel angry. Anger is the fruit, we can't deal with the problem until we find the roots.
There was a time when the burden of anger on my life was so great, that it felt like it was going to crush me. I prayed and reached out to God, asking Him to show me where it had started. Why was I so angry? The burden was so heavy and I couldn't handle it any more. The next morning I was in the shower when something dropped into my spirit. God showed me where it had started, in the midst of my childhood trauma - I felt powerless. I was overwhelmed and I felt angry at God for allowing this to happen, at my father for what he was doing, with my mother for not stopping him and at myself for being powerless at that time.
I prayed and asked God to forgive me for being angry at Him. He was there in the midst of what was happening and was protecting me. I forgave my father, my mother and myself and the burden was lifted. I don't walk around ready to explode at a moment's notice, no longer carrying the huge weight that I had struggled with for so long.
Friend, I don't know where your anger started, but God does. I don't know what you've been through, but I want to ask you to do what I did. Seek God, ask Him where your anger started. He might not answer right away, but keep seeking Him. Your loving Father wants to life your burden, if you let Him.